Scrapes, bruises and stitches

Foot drop and balance issues in MS

It was a simple task: go up a relatively short flight of stairs that I’ve ascended countless times before to my then boss’s office for a meeting. Rather than ascend gracefully up the steps like anyone would, I tripped going UP the stairs.

And then, in a blur, somehow, slid head-first into something hard enough to cause a momentary blackout and profuse bleeding from my head, under my freshly flat ironed hair.

I didn’t know it then, as I’d come to learn a lot of odd little factoids about the human body later, but the scalp bleeds the most profusely when there’s a head wound. If you’re thinking about how mortifying that must’ve been, you’d be right, except probably not as much as I was. The men in the office (actually I was the only female in this company at the time)  who had just witnessed my massive FAIL moment were dumbfounded about how that happened and how quickly they could take me to the Emergency Room. I protested because I hadn’t felt the blood or seen what they just saw. Honestly, the next part makes me snicker so it’s OK if you do too! It was decided my boss would drive me, with my bloodied head in his brand new pristine Audi sports car that he was very proud of. (Ok maybe the snickering is just my ‘bad blood’ over how that job ended; See what I did there? 😂)

A five hour hospital visit and six stitches later I was sent home to think about my embarrassment and how I'd face my colleagues again.

I guess that was the first sign that I tripped because of what would turn out to be ‘foot drop’, not just clumsiness. But we’ll get to that later, for now, we chalked it up to clumsiness…until another employee tripped on the same set of stairs and twisted or broke his arm - I can’t recall. So while I felt bad for him, I felt vindicated and pronounced that the steps must have been uneven. 

Years & Many Symptoms Before Diagnosis

Fast forward to many many many falls from which I developed scars, on my knee that was braking my falls to forearms from sliding like I was at trying to touch home plate, to the palms of my hands, face, ribs...Once I even tripped on the finish line mat at a 10km running event in front of all the spectators. It was just like the movies: I heard cheering turn into a collective gasp. I was at the back of the pack - so far back that the First Aid people were packing up their stuff 😂(it’s OK to laugh!). At least that meant there weren’t as many people left on the sidelines, but to me, it felt like the whole world was watching. 

The part I can’t laugh about is how I kept after my family physician saying there was something wrong with me. I might be clumsy but all these falls don’t feel like ‘regular’ falls. I said my knee felt like it gave out. My ankle just fails at doing what it needs to do. My arm is stiff and my hand feels numb but not regular numb, it’s just constant tightness and there’s a different sensation than my other hand. But nothing was ever enough to detect the necessity of an MRI.

After X-rays, physiotherapy, store-bought knee braces, ankle braces, lots and lots of K-tape…I was told nothing was wrong or diagnosable. I should wear better shoes and look where I’m going. (no laughter here) 

Life Before Diagnosis

All this time, I was still training and running in half marathons and even eventually training for a full marathon. Running (albeit very slow) was my everything. At times, as my symptoms progressed (unbeknownst to me) my foot would get so numb at times I’d have to take the bus home from a training run, but I thought that it was due to exertion and just…put more K-tape on it. (laughing here is ok 😂 I’m a hyper-independent DIY’er and use duct tape and push pins on anything and everything - including myself).

Unfortunately, the truth was that no amount of glue could fix what was going on out of view, beneath the surface of the scars, the bruises and the band-aids. 

At Last The Optic Nerve Cannot Hide

Five years after the six stitches incident I'd go to the optician at Costco due to blurred vision and ask for new contacts since maybe I just needed a new prescription I thought! But she saw differently and informed me I need to see an ophthalmologist, who told me I need to see a Neuro - ophthalmologist who after many many eye exams told me I have optic neuritis and that I need to see a neurologist who ordered an MRI and confirmed indeed, I have and would forever have multiple sclerosis.

Gratitude For Amazing Doctors

To the credit of every physician and healthcare practitioner I saw in that time, they were all matter of fact but comforting. No sugar coating it. But I remember what one doctor said to me at very critical moments.

Dr. Clair Sheldon, MD/PhD, FRCSC, was the neuro-ophthalmologist I saw, who when she saw me break down at the mention of me 'very likely' having MS but she'd leave official diagnosis to the neurologist, sat me back down and asked 'what's upsetting you?' I said 'well you just told me I have MS and that my life is over so...there's that.' She so kindly responded 'no no no, you're so lucky! There are so many people that have MS and you just don't know it. They go on to live life as normal as possible! Also, being diagnosed these days is great because there's so many more therapies than even 5 years ago!'

I really will never forget that moment and am forever grateful for taking the time to assure me that my life as I knew it was not over. It may look a little different, but it certainly wasn't over.

That is a major reason why Chronic Wellness was created. To be the voice of reason, support and comfort for those newly diagnosed or dealing with flare ups, or deciding whether or not to go on a disease modifying therapy (DMT) versus going without and maintaining health a more natural route. Because as many people as there are living with MS or other autoimmune illnesses, so many are living quietly, hiding their symptoms and pushing through, feeling isolated and alone in their thoughts of 'this is the end'...but it doesn't have to be!